I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
do herpes really smell.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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