walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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