Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
