I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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