just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
two words...techno handjob
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
