Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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