Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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