why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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