If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
