it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
