I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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