I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's shark week go big or go home
not ubering you a puppy
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
