she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
