I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
