The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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