After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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