just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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