Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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