why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
