'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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