I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i barfeds in our rink
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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