I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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