I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
