i barfeds in our rink
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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