It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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