I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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