Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
