So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
