the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize