that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
