i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
