Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
