yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want nice things and good sex
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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