Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
