I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
