she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
