Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
