I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
