That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
