Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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