I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
