so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
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You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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