RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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