Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You dont lie about slip and slides
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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