No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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