Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize