Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
