yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
