C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
