it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize