We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
