I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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