evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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