Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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