everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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