I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
