he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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