I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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