No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
