In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
